How Well Do You Know Your Neighbor?

Modern life is so much more different from what it used to be just few decades ago. Seemingly everyday, new technologies are developed which allow people to access all kind of information and communicate with people from anywhere in the world. However, at the same time the Americans seem to know less and less people who live right next door to them. It is a fairly new phenomenon because our grandparents and even our parents knew most of their neighbors rather well. But not anymore—for many Americans their whole interaction with neighbors is reduced to perfunctory hand wave and an occasional small talk in passing. For some, it is a perfect arrangement because they really do not have to be friendly with people with whom they happened to live nearby by chance; others might feel that they are missing an opportunity to get to know their neighbors, be helpful to each other if necessary, and maybe get a new friend.

Sociologists have been analyzing this phenomenon for quite some time. One of the best books on the subject, Robert Putnam’s “Bowling Alone” published in 2001, argues that the break of social bonds (taken in a wider sense to include involvement into civic clubs, church groups, etc.) leads to a number of problems in a society such as decreased safety of the neighborhoods, lower educational performance, reduced civic involvement into communities, decline in democratic responsiveness, and even health, happiness, and everyday honesty.

There are many factors which explain our reluctance or inability to establish relationships with our neighbors. Historically, Americans have always been a nation which prized their privacy and the right to protect their properties; as a result, we are often disinclined to approach a neighbor out of fear to feel unwelcomed. Also, Americans move from one place to another much more often nowadays. Thus, we often fail to establish relationships with ever-changing neighbors. In addition, modern families are often two-career families and there is nobody home most of the day and, after a long day of work, people rarely have time to associate with their neighbors. After all, there is housework to do, dinner to be prepared, children to be taken care of—the list is long. Moreover, new technologies allow us to keep up with just about anything happening in the world; as such, simple, face-to-face interaction with your neighbors is often less interesting and stimulating for many. These are just few factors, and it is a fact of our modern life that sometimes it is simply easier not to get friendly with our neighbors.

However, there is something to be said about trying a little bit harder to become more neighborly. After all, you will always have somebody to watch over your house and pick up your mail when you go away; you might carpool with your perspective kids; you might acquire a new friend; your neighbors might notice any suspicious behavior around the neighborhood and alert you as well. So, turn off you TV and computer, step out of the house, and get to know your neighbors! – Becky Kospanova

After Several Restaurant Chains Announce That They will be refusing to serve customers with saggin pants; I elected to repost this story just to keep the public aware of the true meaning behind the issue.

Saggin Pants

Letter from a college student directed to Black young men and women.

The other day, a friend of mine visited me in the lobby of my dorm just to chat while her laundry was drying. As we were chatting, two young freshmen came by. One of the boys wanted to ‘talk’ to my friend (as in date). She asked him how old they were, and both of the boys replied 18. My friend and I both laughed hysterically because we are both 22 years old. After my friend left, the young men were still hanging around and one wanted to know how he could gain her interest.

The first thing I told him to do was to pull up his pants! He asked why, and then said he liked saggin’ his pants. I told him to come over to my computer and spell the word saggin’. Then I told him to write the word saggin’ backwards.

S-A-G-G-I-N

N-I-G- G-A-S

I told him the origin of that look was from centuries ago. It was the intent of slave owners to demoralize the field workers by forbidding them to wear a belt as they worked in the fields or at any other rigorous job. In addition, men in prison wore their pants low when they were ‘spoken for. The other reason their pants looked like that was they were not allowed to have belts because prisoners were likely to try to commit suicide. And, saggin’ pants prevents you from running.

We as young Black people have to be the ones to effect change. We are dying. The media has made a mockery of the Black American. Even our brothers and sisters from Africa don’t take us seriously. Something as simple as pulling up your pants and standing with your head held high could make the biggest difference in the world’s perception of us. It is time to do right by ourselves. We need to love and embrace each other. No one is going to do that for us.

It all comes down to perception. What people perceive is what reality to them is. We have to change not only the media’s perception of us, but we need to change our perception of ourselves.

Remember all eyes are on you Black Man. All eyes are on you Black Woman. All eyes are on your Black Child. People point the finger at us and expect us to engage in negative and illegal activities, to manifest loud, boisterous behavior, to spend our hard earned money in their stores, buying goods we don’t need, or really want. We have allowed not only the media, but the government and the world to portray us as a ‘sub-culture.’ They have stripped our culture down to the point where the image of Black people is perpetuated as rappers, athletes, drug users, and consumers of junk food, expensive tennis shoes, expensive cars, expensive TVs, cell phones and not investing in homes for our families.

We are so much more!

To all our Black Men: Its time to stand up. There are billions of Black Women who want to do nothing more than worship the ground that you walk on. We are so in love with your potential. We want to have your back, we want to love, support and cherish every ounce of you’re being. But with that you have to show that you are willing to be the head of our households. You have to prove yourselves worthy of our submission. We need you to be hard working…Not a hustler. We need you to seek higher education, to seek spirituality. We need you to stand! And trust us; we will have your back. We know that it gets hard. We know you get weary. Trust and believe that there is nothing that a Black Man and a Black Woman can’t handle with GOD on their side.

To all our Black Women: It is also time for you to stand up. It is time for you to stop using our bodies as our primary form of communication. It is time to be that virtuous woman that Proverbs spoke of. You cannot sit by the wayside while our men are dying by the masses. You are the epitome of Black Love. It starts within you. You need to speak with conviction to let not only our Black Men know, but the world, that you are the Mothers of this world. You are so powerful. You are so beautiful. You need to love and embrace every blessing God has given us physically, emotionally and spiritually.

For all our Black Children: We need to love them. We need to teach them. We need to stand up for them. We need to protect them. We need to show them that there are no ‘get rich quick’ schemes. We need to tell them that they WILL die trying if they submit to a life of crime and deceit. We need to teach our children that no one will love them the way we can. And being a basketball player, a rapper, or a drug dealer is not reality. It’s not realistic and only a small percentage of people ever make it as a rapper or professional athlete. We need to teach our children that we can be more than rappers and athletes. We can be the owners of these sports teams. We can be the CEO’s of OUR fortune 500 companies. We need to believe in literacy. I am almost certain if we were to look back to the 1930s and 40’s, the literacy rates for Black American Children are probably still the same.

Please Share & Have a wonderful day.

Beer or Wine: What Does Your Choice Say About You?

Most people, after experimenting with different types of alcohol, choose their favorite drink and stick to it. There is a wide range of alcohol to choose from: hard liquors, different cocktails, dazzling variety of wines and, of course, many types of beers. As such, many people believe that a choice of drink can tell a lot about a person’s character and life style. What are some of the most widespread beliefs associated with favorite alcoholic beverage?

Two of the most popular drinks, beer and wine, have been around a long time, probably as long as humans themselves. Archeological discoveries demonstrate that people started producing wine and beer around 3000 BC on territories of such ancient countries as Iran, Egypt, Armenia, and Georgia (to name a few). Thereafter, the production of wine and beer has spread across the continents and both drinks have steadily gained in popularity. Of course, both drinks came to be associated with certain traits of character.

Beer is often a first alcoholic beverage for many people, and some stay faithful to it for years to come. Generally, it is a cheap, filling, and readily available drink, which can be enjoyed just about everywhere. While there is a wide choice of beer ranging from lagers, ales, pilsners, stouts, drafts, and bottles—it is still considered to be a rather democratic drink. Poor, simple folks equally love it as well as rich and powerful. Still, beer is often considered to be a somewhat lowbrow drink. Usually, someone who drinks beer is seen as a non-fussy, predominantly blue-collar, undemanding person who does not look for finer things in life. However, with the spread of microbreweries beer is becoming fancier nowadays. There are beer-tasting events held in many locations where beer can often cost as much as good wine.

Wine is also a very popular drink with many people. Most people come to it later in life and some become true connoisseurs of it. Wines vary greatly in price depending on region and year it was produced. French and Italian wines, with their superior grapes and rich traditions, are often the most expensive ones; Australian, South African, Chilean, and American wines are often more affordable and some can be very good. While wine drinkers can sometimes come off as pretentious and somewhat snooty, many people drink red wine because of its health advantages; scientists assert that it is good for your heart. Interestingly, according to 2011 statistics provided by International Wine and Spirit Research and Vinexpo, traditional countries with highest rates of wine consumption such as France, Italy, Spain, Austria, and Germany were pushed over by US, where experts predict that by 2015 there will be 13 liters of wine consumed per adult per year. Two more countries, which are emerging as big wine markets, are China and Hong Kong. As such, wine is becoming a drink of choice for many people across the countries.

No matter what kind of alcohol a person prefers, the stereotypes associated with it are often no more than that—stereotypes. In the long run, your alcoholic preferences do not define your character; most importantly, your character shows if you can enjoy a drink responsibly.
Becky Kospanova

One of the best months of the year—and many people concur—is October. The heat and humidity of summer are gone; the coldness of winter is still far away. October is the month of perfect weather and breathtaking beauty. In many parts of the country, people visit countryside and parks to admire autumnal views—leaves are turning vivid red, yellow, and orange; the sky is bright blue; the air is crisp and invigorating. However, the month of October is not just about the beautiful weather; there are also interesting traditions and rich history associated with it.

October derives its name from the Latin word “octo” which translates as “eight” because it used to be an eighth month in Roman calendar. Later, the months of January and February were added to Gregorian calendar, thus making October the tenth month. Still, the name stayed. It is quite an eventful month—many famous people were born and many great, and sometimes tragic, events have happened throughout the history in the month of October.

If you or your child were born in October, there is a good chance that one day you (or your child!) might become an American President.

The fact is that more American Presidents were born in October than in any other month of the year. Among them were John Adams (b. Oct. 30, 1735), Rutherford B. Hayes (b. Oct.4, 1822), Chester Arthur (b. Oct.5, 1830), Theodore Roosevelt (b. Oct. 27, 1858), Dwight Eisenhower (b. Oct. 14, 1890), Jimmy Carter (b. Oct 1, 1924), as well as a potential American President Hillary Clinton who was born in October (Oct.26, 1947). Not only famous politicians, but many artists, writers, composers, inventors and other distinguished people were also born in October. Some of them were Mahatma Gandhi (1869), St. Francis of Assisi (1181), Oscar Wilde (1854), Eugene O’Neill (1888), Noah Webster (1758), George Westinghouse (1846), Giuseppe Verdi (1813), and John Lennon (1940). Obviously, October birth date was a good start in life for a lot of people!

Also, many great events took place in the month of October both in the United States and in the world at large.

For example:

· Two of the best American universities were founded in October: Yale University in 1701 and Harvard University in 1636.
· U.S. Naval Academy was founded in Annapolis, MD on October 10, 1845.
· Space Age began with the Russians sending its first satellite Sputnik I into orbit. With that, the United States launched the program with the aim to be the first on the moon.
· United Nations was founded on October 24, 1945 in an attempt to prevent future world wars and facilitate cooperation of the countries.
· Martin Luther King received Nobel Peace Prize on October 14, 1964.
· People’s Republic of China was founded on October 1, 1949 with the Mao Zedong as a Chairman.
· East and West Germany were reunited on October 3, 1990 forming Federal Republic of Germany.
· The first transcontinental telegram was sent on October 24, 1861 from San Francisco to Washington to Abraham Lincoln from the Chief Justice of California.

Apparently, October is an exciting month in many regards! There are many events, birthdays, and holidays to celebrate or, if anything else, one can simple enjoy the splendid October weather. – Becky Kospanova

You have submitted your resume and have been asked to come in for an interview. Are you prepared? The following are questions you can expect to be asked, or variations thereof. They could apply for any position you are being interviewed for. For purposes of this article we have used Firefighter”.

1. Why do you want to work in this industry?

Bad answer: “I like firefighting. I think it’s really cool.”
Don’t just say you like it. Anyone can “like” firefighting. Focus instead on your history with the industry, and if you can, tell a story.

Good answer: “I have always appreciated and admired those who put their lives on the line to protect our comminutes. My interest really piqued in firefighting however after I witnessed a post-crash rescue. I heard the calling as I watched the first response team pull the civilians to safety and out of harms way. It was then I knew that this is what I was meant to do.”

2. Tell us about yourself.

Bad answer: “I graduated four years ago from the University of Michigan, with a Bachelor’s degree in Biology – but I decided that wasn’t the right path for me. I switched gears and got my first job working in a fire department. Then I went on to work in another department and started participating in training courses. After that, I took a few months off to travel. Finally, I came back to start working again. And now, here I am, looking for a more challenging fire and rescue role.”
Instead of giving a chronological work history, focus on your strengths and how they pertain to the role. If possible, illustrate with examples.

Good answer: “I’m a very energetic and well-rounded person who can follow instructions well. I am a good communicator and quite a team player. At the last department I was with I initiated medic classes for the firefighters who were interested in learning first-aid techniques. Because it was such a success, the entire department is in the process of getting certifications for all members in different areas of response medical aid.”

3. What do you think of your previous boss?

Bad answer: “He was completely incompetent, and a nightmare to work with, which is why I’ve moved on”
Remember: if you get the job, the person interviewing you will some day be your previous boss. The last thing they want is to hire someone who they know is going to badmouth them some day. Instead of trashing your former employer, stay positive, and focus on what you learned from them (no matter how awful they might have been).

Good answer: “My last boss taught me the importance of time management – he didn’t pull any punches, and was extremely driven. His no-nonsense attitude pushed me to work harder, and to meet goals I never even thought were possible.”

4. Why are you leaving your current role?

Bad answer: “I can’t stand my boss, or the work I’m doing.”
Again, stay away from badmouthing your job or employer. Focus on the positive.

Good answer: “I’ve learned a lot from my current role, but now I’m looking for a newchallenge, to broaden my horizons and to gain new skill-sets – all of which, I see the potential for in this job.”

5. Where do you see yourself in five years?

Bad answer: “Relaxing on a beach in Maui,” or “Doing your job.”
There’s really no right answer to this question, but the interviewer wants to know that you’re ambitious, career-oriented, and committed to a future with the company. So instead of sharing your dream for early retirement, or trying to be funny, give them an answer that illustrates your drive and commitment.

Good answer: “In five years I’d like to have an even better understanding of fire and rescue. Also, I really enjoy being the first to a scene. I work very well under pressure. Ultimately, I’d like to be in a commander-type position, where I can use my organizational skills and industry knowledge to benefit the people working with me, and those we are there to help.”

6. What’s your greatest weakness?

Bad answer: “I work too hard,” or for the comedian, “Blondes.”
This question is a great opportunity to put a positive spin on something negative, but you don’t want your answer to be cliché – joking or not. Instead, try to use a real example of a weakness you have learned to overcome.

Good answer: “I’ve never been very comfortable with public speaking – which as you know, can be a hindrance. Realizing this was a problem, I asked my previous department if I could enroll in a speech workshop. I took the class, and was able to overcome my lifelong fear. Since then, I’ve given a lot of safety presentations to school children across the county. I still don’t love it, but no one else can tell!”

7. What salary are you looking for?

Bad answer: “In my last job I earned $35,000 – so, now I’m looking for $40,000”
If you can avoid it, don’t give an exact number. The first person to name a price in a salary negotiation loses. Instead, re-iterate your commitment to the job itself. If you have to, give a broad range based on research you’ve conducted on that particular role, in your particular city.

Good answer: “I’m more interested in the role itself than the pay. That said, I’d expect to be paid the appropriate range for this role, based on my five years of experience. I also think a fair salary would bear in mind the high cost of living here in New York City.”

8. Why should I hire you?

Bad answer: “I’m the best candidate for the role.”
A good answer will reiterate your qualifications, and will highlight what makes you unique.

Good answer: “I’ve been a firefighter for the past five years – my boss has said time and time again that without me, the department wouldn’t function so well. I’ve also taken the time to educate myself on some of the non-standard techniques used in first response. I can react quickly in hectic situations, and can handle the responsibilities of a leadership role. What’s good enough for most people is never really good enough for me.”

9. What is your greatest failure, and what did you learn from it?

Bad answer: I never finished law school – and everything that has happened since then has taught me that giving up, just because the going gets tough, is a huge mistake.”
You don’t want to actually highlight a major regret – especially one that exposes an overall dissatisfaction with your life. Instead, focus on a smaller, but significant, mishap, and how it has made you a better professional.

Good answer: “When I was in college, I took an art class to supplement my curriculum. I didn’t take it very seriously, and assumed that, compared to my Engineering classes, it would be a walk in the park. My failing grades at midterm showed me otherwise. I’d even jeopardized my scholarship status. I knew I had to get my act together. I spent the rest of the semester making up for it, ended up getting a decent grade in the class. I learned that no matter what I’m doing, I should strive to do it to the best of my ability. Otherwise, it’s not worth doing at all.”

10. How do you explain your gap in employment?

Bad answer: “I was so tired of working, and I needed a break,” or “I just can’t find a job.”
Employment gaps are always tough to explain. You don’t want to come across as lazy or unhireable. Find a way to make your extended unemployment seem like a choice you made, based on the right reasons.

Good answer: “My work is important to me, so I won’t be satisfied with any old job. Instead of rushing to accept the first thing that comes my way, I’m taking my time and being selective to make sure my next role is the right one.”

11. When were you most satisfied in your job?

Bad answer: “I was most satisfied when I did well, and got praised for my work.”
Don’t give vague answers. Instead, think about something you did well —and enjoyed— that will be relevant at this new job. This is an opportunity for you to share your interests, prove that you’re a great fit for the job and showcase your enthusiasm.

Good answer: “I’m a people person. I was always happiest — and most satisfied — when I was interacting with community residents, making sure I was able to meet their needs and giving them the best possible comfort in a tough situation. It was my favorite part of the job, and it showed. Part of the reason I’m interested in this job is that I know I’d have even more interaction with the public, on an even more critical level.”

12. What did you like least about your last job?

Bad answer: “A lack of stability. I felt like the place could collapse around me at any time.”
Try and stay away from anything that draws on the politics, culture or financial health of your previous employer. No matter how true it might be, comments like these will be construed as too negative. Also, you don’t want to focus on a function that might be your responsibility in the next role. So think of something you disliked in your last job, but that you know for sure won’t be part of this new role.

Good answer: “There was nothing about my last job that I hated, but I guess there were some things I liked less than others. My previous role involved traveling at least twice a month. While I do love to travel, twice a month was a little exhausting – I didn’t like spending quite so much time out of the department. I’m happy to see that this role involves a lot less travel.”

13. Describe a time when you did not get along with your coworker.

Bad answer: “I’m easy to get along with, so I’ve never had any kind of discord with another coworker.”
Interviewers don’t like these types of “easy out” answers. And besides, they know you are probably not telling the truth. Think of a relatively benign (but significant) instance, and spin it to be a positive learning experience.

Good answer: “I used to lock heads with a fellow EMT. We disagreed over a lot of things – from the care of civilians to who got what shifts to how to speak with a victim’s family. Our personalities just didn’t mesh. After three months of arguing, I pulled her aside and asked her to lunch. At lunch, we talked about our differences and why we weren’t getting along. It turns out, it was all about communication. We communicated differently and once we knew that, we began to work well together. I really believe that talking a problem through with someone can help solve any issue.”

14. What motivates you?

Bad answer: “Doing a good job and being rewarded for it.”
It’s not that this answer is wrong — it’s just that it wastes an opportunity. This question is practically begging you to highlight your positive attributes. So don’t give a vague, generic response — it tells them very little about you. Instead, try and use this question as an opportunity to give the interviewer some insight into your character, and use examples where possible.

Good answer: “I’ve always been motivated by the challenge – in my last role, I was responsible for training our new recruits and having a 100% success rate in passing scores. I know that this job is very fast-paced and I’m more than up for the challenge. In fact, I thrive on it.”

15. How would your friends describe you?

Bad answer: “I’m a really good listener.”
While being a good listener is a great personality trait, your employer probably doesn’t care all that much. It’s unlikely that they’re hiring you to be a shoulder to cry on. You’ll want to keep your answer relevant to the job you’re interviewing for, and as specific as possible. If you can, insert an example.

Good answer: “My friends would probably say that I’m extremely persistent – I’ve never been afraid to keep going back until I get what I want. When I worked as a program developer, recruiting keynote speakers for a major tech conference, I got one rejection after another – this was just the nature of the job. But I really wanted the big players – so I wouldn’t take no for an answer. I kept going back to them every time there was a new company on board, or some new value proposition. Eventually, many of them actually said “yes” – the program turned out to be so great that we doubled our attendees from the year before. A lot of people might have given up after the first rejection, but it’s just not in my nature. If I know something is possible, I have to keep trying until I get it.”

[Source: Monster.com | Fire Link } Jul 2013 ++]