Category Archives: FEATURED

Celebration or Coincidence

Double Celebration or Unfortunate Coincidence?
Becky Kospanova

Fireworks behind statue of libertyAlmost everybody knows a person who has their birthday on some major holiday such as Christmas, Independence Day, New Year’s Eve, or similar. What is it like to have your birthday coincide with one of the universally celebrated events? Do people feel twice as lucky to have everybody around them not only celebrate their birthdays but also a major holiday or do they feel somewhat shorthanded by nature?

First of all, many of these people are in good company because a number of celebrities have had their birthdays on holidays. For example, such famous people as Sir Isaac Newton, brilliant mathematician, physicist, and astronomer, was born on Christmas Day in 1642; renowned actor Humphrey Bogart and actress Sissy Spacek were also born on Christmas (in 1899 and 1949, respectively); playwright Neil Simon (1927), actress Gina Lollobrigida (1928), and George Steinbrenner (1930), late owner of New York Yankees, were all born on July 4, Independence Day; New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg was born on Valentine’s Day in 1942, and so on. Apparently, the fact that these people, just to name a few, were born on a holiday date did not prevent them from achieving impressive heights in their careers and lives.

There are probably two ways to deal with the fact that you, or somebody close to you, were born on a holiday date. On a positive side, it might feel that the whole world is celebrating with you! Generally, there is an all-around celebratory atmosphere during holidays: stores are beautifully decorated and sell holiday cards and gifts; people seem to be more relaxed and happy in anticipation of festivities; and often you, your friends, and family members have some time off work which makes it possible for all of you to have a large party together. Moreover, if you are lucky you might get twice as many presents as everybody else around you in honor of your birthday as well as a holiday.

On the other hand, some people feel less special because their birthdays fall on major holidays. In the midst of holiday rush, they might think that their birthday takes second place compared to a holiday. It is especially true for little children who do not yet have enough skills and psychological maturity to deal with the pressure of coinciding birthday and a holiday. Worse yet if these children do not receive separate gifts for their birthdays and, for example, Christmas because it inevitably diminishes the value of their birthdays and makes them feel less special on this day; after all, all their friends receive gifts without being born on this day. For such people, it would be a good idea to celebrate their birthdays a day before or after a holiday to separate the dates. If it is impossible to celebrate separately, it would be nice to make an extra effort to honor birthday boy or girl. Special cake, gift, or granting of the wish go a long way in making someone feel cherished and loved.

In any case, whether your birthday falls on a major holiday or not, it is always a reason to have a celebration with your friends and family and be happy that you were given a gift of Life!

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People and their Pets

Becky Kospanova

Doberman & Girl PetIt is undeniable that pets bring something special into our lives. Whether your choice of a pet is conventional (such as cats, dogs, ferrets, hamsters, fish, etc.) or more exotic (snakes, iguanas, tarantulas, monkeys, etc.), there is nothing like a warm feeling we get when we play and communicate with our pets. The number of American households that have pets is rather impressive – according to the Humane Society of the United States, there are 78.2 million dogs and 86.4 million cats owned by people in the country (two most popular kinds of pets).

There are numerous benefits in owning a pet. First of all, pets make excellent companions – you will never feel lonely when a pet demonstrates all that affection and unconditional love for you! Second, pets might open up new venues in your life. For example, you can meet other pet owners when you take a dog for a walk or participate in cat shows; you might rev up your exercise routine by taking Fido along for a jog; or you might acquire a new hobby connected to your pet. Moreover, pet ownership can prove to be very beneficial for kids. Not only kids become more responsible by taking care of their pets, but there is scientific evidence that owning a dog or a cat might be good for kids’ health. According to the latest research, children who are exposed to animals from birth are much less likely to suffer from upper respiratory infections, ear infections, and allergies. It is believed that early contact with animals and the bacteria and dirt generally associated with them boosts immune system and helps to fight off the infections more efficiently. Lastly, there are many stories when pets save their owners’ lives by warning them about some imminent danger (fire, earthquake, tornado, etc.) or protecting their owners from intruders and assailants. All in all, there are a lot of positive aspects in having a pet and it is no wonder that so many people have them!

However, pet ownership does not come easily. One must approach the decision to get a pet with utmost consideration and dedication. First of all, potential pet owner needs to consider his/her life style and family dynamics to make a right choice. There are many questions to ponder about such as whether you are more comfortable with an energetic or docile pet, how much daily interaction you are ready for, whether your living arrangements are suitable for particular kind of pet, the life span of potential pet, the cost involved into buying and taking care of it, yours and your family members’ health (many people erroneously assume that people are usually allergic to pets’ fur; however, people are allergic to pets’ dandruff and animals usually have skin!), the effort needed to maintain psychological and physiological health of your pet, your expectations regarding a pet, the amount of cleaning after a pet, and possible danger (there are often stories of children being mauled by dogs). For example, some people are content with pets which do not provide a lot of companionship (fish, turtles, snakes, lizards, etc.) while others want some reciprocity and would be better off with such pets as dogs, cats, rats, ferrets, or guinea pigs.

Undoubtedly, anyone considering a pet must approach this decision with maximum care and deliberation. However, there is abundant joy and happiness when a right pet becomes a part of a right family!

 

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Life’s Potato Sacks

May Have Heard The Story
 E. Virginia Johnson

You May Have Heard The Story, of the teacher who asked each of her students to bring a plastic bag and a sack of potatoes to school; for

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every person they refused to forgive, they were to choose a potato, write the person’s name on it, and put it in the plastic bag; some of their bags became quite heavy!

They were then told to carry this bag everywhere they went for one week, putting it beside the bed at night and on the car seat when driving; naturally, the condition of the potatoes deteriorated to a nasty, smelly slime. This is great metaphor for the price we pay for holding on to our pain and negativity. Too often, we think of forgiveness as a gift to the other person, and clearly it is for ourselves.

What life does for us it must do through us; life is always at work and is limited only by our beliefs. Ernest Holmes reminds us. Selfish reasons alone, if from no loftier reason, we cannot afford to find fault, to hate, or even to hold in mind anything against any living soul! The god of love cannot hear the prayer of the one who fails to love

Are you tired of carrying around that stink sack of potatoes? Are you ready to create from forgiveness instead of resentment and hurt? Are you ready to value yourself enough to forgive?

 

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Seasonal Allergies

How to Cope With Seasonal Allergies

Becky Kospanova

SneezingAs spring arrives and everything around us starts blooming, not one person can remain untouched by the wonder and beauty of Mother Nature. However, for many unfortunate people spring brings not just enjoyment and happiness but also seasonal allergies. In a nutshell, allergy is an adverse reaction of human immune system to foreign substances (called allergens) which can lead to many symptoms ranging from coughing, sneezing, runny nose and scratchy throat to hives, difficulty breathing, drop in blood pressure, and even anaphylactic death. While people can suffer from different kinds of allergies (food, pets, latex, drug, insects, etc.), seasonal allergy is the most prevalent kind. In fact, as many as 40 million Americans suffer from seasonal allergies; and the number keeps growing due to such factors as climate change and environmental pollution.

The effect of having so many people suffer from seasonal allergies is widely felt across the nation. According to Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America, the direct annual cost of allergies is about 14.5 billion dollars due to the cost of visits to doctors’ offices, money spent on medications, and missed work or school days. As National Academy on Aging Society demonstrates, seasonal allergy is the 5th leading chronic disease in USA and leads to 700 million dollars cost in lost productivity each year.

Regrettably, there is no cure for allergies to airborne tree, grass, weed pollens and mold spores. However, these seasonal allergies can be effectively managed. One of the most successful treatments is immunotherapy which involves allergy injections that gradually desensitize immune system to specific allergens. At the beginning, a doctor identifies specific allergens affecting a patient by conducting prick or scratch test which shows exactly what kind of injections a patient needs. Afterwards, a patient receives allergy injections (at first once or twice a week for about 4-6 months, later once or twice a month for maintenance). The dosage is gradually increased to desensitize a patient more effectively.

The downside of immunotherapy is that is takes a long time (usually, about 3-5 years), requires frequent doctor office visits, and cost (if medical insurance does not cover the cost of treatment, it can become prohibitive for many people). There exists an alternative option of rush immunotherapy which requires a patient to receive 4 shots daily at one hour intervals during first 5-10 days to reach a maintenance level, and then move to weekly, biweekly, and monthly injections. Many people react very well to immunotherapy and alleviate their symptoms to a great degree. It is especially true for children because the benefits of this treatment can be felt for many years to come.

In addition, there are a lot of medications, both prescription and non-prescription, available for allergy sufferers. A doctor can help to determine what particular medication will be most effective for a specific patient and in what form (nasal sprays, pills, or eye drops). And of course, people affected by allergies should employ simple preventative measures. For example, one should try to reduce exposure to allergens by avoiding being outside on particularly warm and windy days, delegating outside shores to others (or at least wearing face masks when working in the garden or mowing), and changing clothes and taking a shower after being outside, etc. Also, some steps might be taken at home to decrease allergies such as using high-efficiency filters in air-conditioning units, HEPA filters in vacuum cleaners, and HEPA filtered dehumidifiers in bedrooms. Moreover, one can purchase allergy free bedding, widely available in stores and on-line, to alleviate the symptoms.

Given the sheer number of people suffering from seasonal allergies and an impact they have on economy, it is clear that allergies are nothing to sneeze at! Fortunately, there are options available to help allergy sufferers which will let them enjoy their lives to the fullest.

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American Women in Modern Combat

Becky Kospanova

Women in Combat 2 On January 23, 2013 Defense Secretary Leon Panetta announced that the military was going to rescind an official ban on participation of women in direct combat which was put in effect back in 1994. The implementation of this decision would be gradual but is expected to be fully put in place by 2016. Under 1994 ruling, women in military were prevented from direct involvement in front-line combat in artillery, infantry, armor and similar roles. Given the large number of women enlisted in military (according to 2012 statistics provided by the Department of Defense there were 214,098 women in active duty and 118,781 women in reserve), the decision to lift the ban was certainly groundbreaking and incited a lot of discussion regarding the role women play in US military nowadays.

The proponents of the lift of the ban assert that it would remove archaic gender-based barriers to military service and would provide women with equal opportunities, rights and responsibilities in the army. In fact, many women in the army argue that very often they were and are attached to ground combat units both in Iraq and Afghanistan without being properly recognized for it, and many women have died as a result of their involvement (according to New York Times, as of last year about 800 women were wounded and more than 130 died in service). Moreover, there would be more than 250,000 job positions open for women as a result of the annulment of the ban and women would have a better chance to improve their careers in the military where the record of combat service is frequently required for career advancement.

However, the opponents of the decision contend that women should not get involved into front-line combat because of several factors.Women in Combat 1 Most often, people argue that women, simply because of biology, are not as strong physically as men to endure the hardships of direct combat. Despite the argument of the proponents of the ban that modern war is mostly push-button war and physical strength is not as important as it has been previously, physical strength matters. From carrying heavy loads and running at length it is still undeniable that a person must be physically strong to be an effective soldier. While all soldiers need to pass physical tests, the requirements differ for women and men – and men are expected to perform more strenuous tasks compared to women. In addition, many people maintain that it is important to consider psychological aspects of women being involved in front-line combat. For example, there is a possibility of sexual relationships between male and female soldiers which has the potential of affecting the efficacy and comradely spirit of the unit. Also, many people believe that men will instinctively try to protect their female counterparts and the effectiveness of their military units might be reduced as a result. Moreover, the opponents of the lift of the ban argue that it puts women in very dangerous position because women are more likely to be sexually assaulted and tortured by enemies in case of capture. Some also believe that men will have more difficulties serving under female command which will negatively affect military performance of US army.

There are many well-grounded and persuasive arguments on both sides of the dispute regarding the abolishment of the ban on women’ participation in direct combat. However, one thing which is undisputable is that American military women deserve recognition and admiration for their heroic service.

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What Happens When We Die?

E. VirGinia Johnson

Death by BobWill we Truly live again? Instead of fearing death, consider the eternal cycle of life. Death of our earthly body IS simply part of the Perfection of life, for there IS an Essence within each of us that IS the purest form of love and never dies. Rather, it only changes its form. It IS the soul, and we are part of the continuation of the soul’s journey. When we listen to the whisperings of the soul, we are filled with hope and peace.

The soul guides us in each lifetime, like a Trusted friend—one that knows our questions before we ever ask them, leading us to the answers we seek. Always available to us, it is inner wisdom, sacred peace, the Spiritual Essence. Constantly tugging on the shirtsleeves of consciousness, we need only pay attention.

As we open our hearts and minds to this possibility, we can explore and embrace immortality, the soul’s journey. If we can step back from what’s happening in the physical world long enough to realize that our experiences are just an infinitesimally tiny part of eternal life, it helps to put everything in perspective; what IS beyond this human world IS what’s real. The only constant, on any plane of existence, IS THE LOVE of God that adores us. Everything else changes; it’s supposed to.

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Living Out Of A Suitcase

Living Out Of A Suitcase; Living A Traveler’s Life

How to deal with the anxieties, fear, no family life, and on the flip side good things as well; Apart from the basic necessities and wishing to buy all those material things from high end luxury brands, one should always inculcate exotic travels in their check list. And these exotic travels are not the ones where you visit luxury jaunts or travel by those VIP cruises, but those travels which are mindboggling, which will test your stamina, mental endurance and are feet numbing. Extreme adventure is what I’m talking about, in other words, live a life out of the suitcase.

KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERALiving a traveler’s life or living a life out of your comfort zone is something that will turn you from that ordinary corporate or from the ordinary house maker, to someone who is a hero or a campfire superstar. But this doesn’t mean, you head straight to your boss’s cabin, and give your resignation. These journeys will test you fully for which you will need some preparation, but at the same time, they will revitalize you, will help you connect with nature and will give you time for introspection and will help you achieve your ultimate nirvana. Therefore, a traveler’s life is much more than just going to places, instead he tends to explore himself while visiting all these places.

Let me list some places which will help you make aware of the anxieties which a traveler may face in these expeditions and at the same time the rewards which they get after completing these. The first one is Canning Stock Route. This place is located in Western Australia and spans over 2,000 kms. This is one of the most beautiful and harshest deserts in the world. One of the major problems which one may face while covering this area is the adrenalin pumping. Apart from this, be prepared for the vehicle breakdowns, personal emergencies, zero degree evenings, rain, and you have to be self reliant, tough as well as be a confident enough to drive a four wheeler for minimum eight hours of the day at this stretch. But, the reward is even more amazing as you will be able to see emus, kangaroos, salt lakes, springs, Lake Dora, Tjukurba Art Gallery, and Warlayirti Artists, gazing at the stars, among others.

Dallol, Ethiopia Volcano

The next place, in the list is, Dallol, Ethiopia. This volcanic crater, spans over the area of just 3 km. but don’t under estimate this place, as this crater is located in one of the cruelest place, which is the Danakil Desert. You have to brave the sun, and will need camel caravans, constant water supply, armed guards, reliable sun block, drivers and you would need that confidence, brave heart and heroism to cover this stretch and to overcome all the dangers. The one thing you need to look for are the tribesmen of Afar as these people are known for castrating visitors, kidnappings, and murders and also avoid stepping on to acidic lakes as these are poisonous. Apart from these anxieties, you can see unexpected vents of liquid that too in different colors like yellow, green, rust, purple and can also see sulphur, iron oxide deposits. Thus, this place will reward you with a landscape, which will give you a feeling of sublime and will be something, which you have never come across.

Apart from the above two places, Kailash, Mansarovar, Franklin River, Tasmania, GR 20 Trek, Corsica and other places which will make you familiar with similar, experiences. Dangerous, yet exciting, these are places, which one should visit during their lifetime. These places define a traveler’s life, a life out of that comfort zone. You need to be physically fit, be prepared for the emergencies, and you should be able to make that choice. Then your life wi

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New Pope: What Can We Expect?

Becky Kospanova

Pope FrancisOn March 13, 2013 a conclave of 115 Catholic cardinals elected a new leader of Catholics worldwide – Pope Francis. The election had to be held after nearly unprecedented and most certainly unexpected resignation of Pope Benedict XVI on February 28, 2013 who willingly stepped down because of his failing health. Thus, an Argentinean cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio, the archbishop of Buenos Aires, became the 266th pontiff of Roman Catholic Church. Of course, the news about just elected Pope immediately spread all over the world and, considering that there are more than one billion Catholics in the world nowadays, everybody was eager to learn more about him and tried to predict what Church policies new pope will embrace during his papacy.

Pope Francis is a pope of many “firsts.” He is the first pope from the Americas and the first pope in modern times who is not from Europe (in ancient times, there were popes from Syria, Bethlehem, Jerusalem, and modern-day Libya). He is the first pope from the Jesuit order, the largest society within Catholic Church, which is best known for its promotion of educational institutions and whose members take vows of poverty, obedience, and chastity. He is the first to choose the name Francis in honor of St. Francis of Assisi, the servant of poor and destitute (that is why Pope Francis does not have a number after his name). During his first appearance on the balcony in St. Peter’s Square, he broke Vatican tradition by asking the crowd to pray for him instead of offering his blessings and refused to step up on the platform to elevate himself above the cardinals.

In fact, 76 years old Jorge Mario Bergoglio, son of poor Italian immigrants, has always been a man of great faith and humility. It is a well-known fact that he has always led modest life – while serving as the archbishop of Buenos Aires, he chose to live in an apartment instead of palace, rode public transportation refusing chauffer-driven limousine, and cooked his own meals. He is deeply concerned with the problems of poverty and social justice, and he even washed feet of AIDS patients during his visit to the hospital. As such, many people predict that Pope Francis will put great emphasis on conquering poverty and social injustices during his papacy. Moreover, some analysts argue that, unlike his predecessor Pope Benedict XVI, he will be more open to dialogue with people of different faiths. It is believed that he is sympathetic towards Jewish people and he even held common ceremony with Evangelical priest.

Still, Catholic Church today faces many problems due to numerous sex abuse scandals, corruption and infighting within the Church, and declining numbers of followers. As such, there is a lot to be done to regain the prestige of the Church. Many people argue that Vatican has consolidated all power and argue that local bishop conferences, diocese and churches need to recover some of it. However, nobody is yet sure as to what new pope’s position on this problem is. Being a conservative, Pope Francis opposes gay marriage, abortion, adoption of children by same-sex couples, and ordination of women. Consequently, it is hardly feasible that any steps will be taken in these areas. Also, many people point out that during so-called Dirty War (1976-1983) when Argentina was under military dictatorship and when as many as 30 000 people were jailed or simply disappeared for holding opposing political views, Catholic Church sided with the government. However, in an interview in 2010 Bergoglio defended the Church by stating that they helped many prosecuted people during that time.

Still, by appointing a pope from Latin America, Catholic Church demonstrated that it recognizes the growth of Catholicism in areas outside Europe such as Latin America, Africa, and Asia. As such, some changes might very well be

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Difficult Pleasures of Life

Perl Waterfall ChinaEverybody, in today’s world wants happiness and is striving to work for it. But what happens when this happiness is turned into pain or the small, little pleasure of our life become difficult due to the various complexities we create around us? This is to say, what if, the pleasures in which you seek happiness such as aesthetic beauty, being wealthy, success, health, talent etc., turns into pain or, what if, the distinction between pain and pleasure is wiped out?

This quality where one seeks for happiness and these small pleasures, is an inherent quality which is present in all human beings and this is mainly because human beings wants to create a world around them where they can enjoy everything. Thus, from the time, when we are children, we feel comfortable when our parents cuddle us and care for us. As we grow, we seek pleasure in our loved ones company or when someone compliments us. But, when it comes to survival in this world, then these pleasures have to be left behind and we need to function beyond these small pleasures in order to gain happiness.

Since, most of people have wrong notions about what constitutes pleasure, they tend to think that anything which gives them respite, is pleasure. Also, some live in a mode denial and since, they aren’t able to achieve true happiness and can’t remain content, they tend to seek respite in pleasure only. Therefore, beauty, wealth are certain things which gives everyone respite as then they can impress anyone and these then become pleasure for them. But these tend to give them respite for a very short duration and hence, pleasure become pain, from this particular moment as it starts interfering in our daily lives.

We all our faced by certain situations in our daily lives where we tend articulate and analyze various doubts, apprehensions, and even our small little joys and then we make choices for these small pleasures. The small pleasures become difficult at a time when you want to escape from certain situations and at the same time, a feeling to belong constantly faces you. Pleasures, whether they give pain or not, tends to hamper our growth and even make us stereotype people. For example, beauty gives us short-term respite; so all those things, which are not beautiful according to our own set standards, are rejected, and are judged on the basis of their appearance. Most of the seven deadly sins are committed because we are always seeking these pleasures.

Pleasures can be made difficult, only when you start making clear distinctions between what is characterized as pain and as pleasure. Such distinctions, makes you not only stereotype a certain category, but your mind starts functioning in a certain way, which will never make you and all you be facing is short term respite which you wrongly term as happiness. Although it may boost your confidence, makes you feel good, but trying going beyond the set standards and conventions. Start pondering and introspecting and then you will be a step closer to attain peace and happiness in true sense.

 

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Uniquely Yours

What Is Uniquely Yours
E. VirGinia Johnson “Genii”

Spirits 1 “Feelings of inadequacy can plague you sometimes, causing you to feel envious of those blessings that others enjoy. If you spend an inordinate amount of time comparing yourself to the people around you, your ability to appreciate the gifts that are uniquely your own can falter.

You will likely find that you feel more confident and better assured of the value of your individual attributes when you judge them utilizing their own merits as a benchmark. As you learn to focus today on who you are rather than who you are not, you may discover that there are many wonderful advantages that are exclusive to your experience.

When we choose to avoid comparing ourselves to the people we spend time with or individuals we see in the media, we are more apt to hone in on the blessings we have been granted and make good use of them. Appreciating these gifts for their own merit as opposed to how they stack up against those of others allows us to see that we enjoy a level of abundance greater than most.

Even though we may now and again feel deprived, we quickly recognize that our insecurities are wholly unrelated to what others do or do not have. We can consider ourselves special as we see the true scope of the many and varied blessings that have enabled us to prosper. Your choice to stop judging yourself today against the merits of others will help you recognize the positive traits that have helped you grow.”

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Next Pope?

Who Will Be the Next Pope?
Becky Kospanova

Crowd-in-Saint-Peters-Square-for-John-Paul-II-BeatificationOn February 11, 2013 Pope Benedict XVI declared that he will resign on February 28, 2013 due to advanced age and failing health which prevent him from carrying out his duties as Pope with necessary vigor. Considering that he is the first Pope to step down while alive in almost 600 years, it is no wonder that the world was stunned by his announcement. The last Pope to resign was Pope Gregory XII who was forced to do so in 1415 to end the dispute with a rival papal candidate; and the last Pope to step down willingly was Pope Celestine V who resigned in 1295 after serving as Pope for only five months.

There are more than one billion Catholics in the world today and, understandably, the future of Vatican is a matter of utmost interest to many people. Thus, the most important question facing Vatican today is as following – who is going to be the next Pope? Based on centuries-old tradition, every Pope is chosen by a conclave of cardinals. Consequently, a conclave, consisting of 118 cardinals from all over the globe, will be held in March 2013 to elect a new Pope in time for upcoming Easter celebrations. Out of all the cardinals, 62 come from Europe (mostly from Italy), 19 are from Latin America, 14 are from the United States and Canada, 11 are from Asia, 11 are from Africa, and 1 is from Australia. However, newly elected Pope will have to deal with many problems facing Catholic Church nowadays such as numerous sex abuse scandals and Church’s position on abortion and gay marriage.

While majority of cardinals from whom a future Pope will be chosen come from European nations, Catholic world witnessed significant surge in members mostly among African and Latin American countries. As such, many analysts predict that future Pope might be elected from these parts of the world. While many people agree that, ideally, next Pope should be chosen with no regard to his geographical origin but with consideration of his leadership abilities, the question of origins still plays an important role.

There are several candidates who are considered to be strong contenders to become next Pope:

1. Cardinal Angelo Scola, Archbishop of Milan.

2. Canadian Cardinal Marc Oullett, Head of Vatican’s Office of Bishops,

3. Cardinal Leonardo Sandri, an Argentinian Cardinal overseeing Eastern Churches.

4. Cardinal Peter Turkson from Ghana, the managing editor of International Journal of African Catholicism. This candidate currently leads Pope’s Council for Justice and Peace and is believed to be good at establishing rapport with people across different faiths.

5. .Brazilian Cardinal Joao Braz de Aviz.

6. Cardinal Donald Wuerl, the Archbishop of Washington.

The process of nominating a next Pope is a secretive one and, most likely, none of us ordinary people will ever understand what exactly happens behind the walls in the process of electing the next Pope. The only hope people of all faiths share is that there will be no more religious, racial, or ideological diversion to prevent us from peaceful co-existence.

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Parents And Teenagers

Communication Gap Between Parents And Teenagers

“You have no idea what I’m going through!”

“How could you possibly understand?”

“Just leave me alone!”

Does the above seem aParenting and Childrensll too familiar? Then you have teenagers in the house. Most parents have heard their teenager use one of these sayings at some point. A communication problem is one of the most common reasons parents give for experiencing difficulties with their teenagers.  While it can be frustrating for both parties, there are steps that you can take to help bring about a solution to what is a difficult time for both parties.

· Talk to them as an equal: If there is one single thing teenagers don’t respond well to it is being talked down to. If they think you are patronizing them, they will come out firing. Even if you aren’t, they will assume you are if your tone isn’t just right. The tone and manner in which you address them can make all the difference.

· Ask for their opinions: Asking them questions that have yes or no answers can be counterproductive. It’s far better to engage them in conversation so that they feel that they are contributing something useful. If they think you’re interested in their perspective and that they have a voice, they are far more likely to want to engage with you. If it feels like an interrogation then the defenses will go up and an argument is much more likely.

· Use I words: Rather than telling them their behavior is wrong or saying “you should do this” try saying “I feel” and then asking them if they agree. If their answer is no ask why. They need to know that they you’re interested in their opinion and that it’s a discussion and not a lecture.

· Put yourself in their shoes: We were all teenagers once so try remembering the difficulties you have gone through and there is a far better chance that you will be able to empathize with them and be more understating.

· Don’t automatically punish them: Encourage them to talk to you if there’s a problem, or if they’ve done something wrong. We all make mistakes, however, if they feel that you will just react negatively if they err in some capacity, they won’t come to you. If they know that you will help, guide and be understanding they will be far more likely to approach you in their hour of need.

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Everything above is about both building a relationship with your teens and gaining their trust. Kids will react badly when they feel you are talking down to them, or show no interest in their opinion. If you approach them as equals and tell them that you will discuss and listen to them before forming an opinion, it will have positive results all round. By placing yourself in their shoes, you will start to understand them better and they will often start confiding in you more.

Teenagers are going to make mistakes whether they talk to you about them or not. If you can get them to communicate better you can at least guide them better and discuss those mistakes so that they do not continue to make them.

It’s also vital to remember that 99.9% of families go through the same problems and most get through them just fine with the kids turning into adults they can be proud of. It won’t be long before you can communicate just fine, and laugh about the problems that seem a distant memory.

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Education – Where to Go?

Becky Kospanova

grads 1One of the life’s most important decisions with far-reaching consequences is the decision where to go to college. There are numerous variables to consider when a person has to make this decision – what degree to get in order to be able to get a job which you will enjoy for years to come, which college to go, how much money and time you are willing to invest in your education, what is career prospective in a chosen field, and so on. While everybody knows that getting a college degree will generally make it easier for a person to get a job (after all, all employers want to hire a person who demonstrated determination and some level of intellect), there are stories of people who dropped out of college or did not go to one at all and still succeeded. Most famously, Bill Gates come to mind because he is probably the paragon of what one can accomplish without getting proper college education (he dropped out of Harvard) with enough drive, smarts, and maybe some luck.

Still, most of us are no Bill Gates, and we have to think more practically about our future. Thus, what majors are best to consider? First of all, you have to carefully ponder your passions, interests, personal strengths, and skills while choosing a major. After all, it is a known fact that if you get a job in a field you love, your career will blossom simply because you’ll be doing what you love and you can succeed just because of that. However, according to US Bureau of Labor Statistics, there are some fields which are projected to hire a lot of people in the years to come. Maybe some of them are right for you?

Environmental Sustainability. With people being more and more aware of potential hazards the neglect of environment brings to us, new majors are created across the fields (such as agriculture, health, history, climate, energy, land use, etc.) which will potentially hire a lot of people in the future.

Computer Game Design. It is not a secret that a lot of people play computer games. As such, you can really benefit from jumping into the field which will only grow. It does not have to be limited to games, because people with such degrees can work in many areas such as cyber security, computer graphics, programming, design, art, etc.

Health Care. American population, as most of population in the post-industrial world, is ageing; and people who can provide care in this field are always going to be in demand. Nurses, doctors, physical assistants, medical billers will not have to look far to find a gainful employment.

Science. The US has always been at forefront of scientific research, and while many countries are catching up, we are still the leader. As such, many fields will surely be hiring as well. Biomedical engineering, biochemistry, nanotechnology, computer technologies are the areas which are projected to be the future for many people.

Homeland Security. With a world being, seemingly, less safe with each day, careers in security may be a good bet. A person can major in such fields as criminal justice, emergency response, terrorism, constitutional aspects of homeland security to assure the safety of the country’s citizens. Not only these are noble professions, but the employment is also relatively easy to find.

It is obvious that there are many areas a person with a desire to learn can go to but once again, one needs to consider the choices carefully in order to make a meaningful and fruitful life.

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Military Style Weapons

Guns 1Should Anyone Be Able To Purchase Military Style Weapons?

Owning military style weapons is clearly a thorny issue in America, and only those who have been victims and played a role in their “misuse” know why controls are being considered and contested. No one wants another loved one lost, for whatever maniac reasons. No one asked for this kind of victimization and no one is asking for these kinds of incidents anywhere. All Americans have a right to protect themselves’.

It is a known fact that it takes extensive training to learn to how to use military style weapons and, how and when to use them is a key issue. So what questions should be asked on these subjects and how should they be answered,

Who Should Own Such Weapons?
The truth is that these weapons were originally designed for military forces for the sole purposes of defending a country in war. However people have come to realize that they maybe left defenseless, especially if someone using these weapons ever attacked them.

This has increase the interest and demand for people looking to purchase a military style assault weapon to fight back and protect their family and many with very little if any training on the use these weapons.

In most States in America, everyone has the right to purchase assault weapons and openly carry one as long as they registered and licensed without the fear of being arrested. The Federal government and States now are left in political gun control battles on the grounds of stopping these weapons from being accessible to the wrong people, those with mental disorders and those that would violate the law.

These weapons of mass destruction and massive amounts of ammunition and high capacity clips ironically can be bought at backdoor deals through loop holes at Gun Shows without any registration in most States, which means no way to track ownership. The truth is, the only people that should own these weapons are military type personnel and as long as Law enforcement officials keep their part of the deal, which is keeping the citizens safe, then there would never be a need for self-defense, especially with these types of weapons and ammunition; but in this day and time that is a tall order.

What Measures And Protocols Should Be Put Into Place Before Allowing Assault Weapons Put Into The Hands Of The Wrong People?

The only thing that is perfectly clear is that even if the right people own such weapons the incidents that cost people and their little ones could and more than likely would still occur. Mothers and fathers who purchase assault weapons might be all for gun rights but never believe and suspect that their son could and would unleash rounds of ammunition on children as to what happen in Newtown. No one even thought that was possible including the mom, otherwise, she would have never have had that type of gun in the house in the first place.

In other words, this is not saying that the government wants to take away weapons owned by responsible civilians but looking at what can be done to prevent people around them from having access to these weapons because that may not be mentally responsible. It is being suggested that instead of arming limited trained staffs at schools and other populated location with weapons, they should hire returning veterans who are trained in the use of assault
weapons and the ability to spot those who may be suspicious.

Is It Victimizing People When The Public Vies For A Complete Ban Of Military Style Weapon Ownership?

If assault weapons are banned from being accessible to the general public does not necessarily mean that there not people who own these guns for protection and never used them commit crimes should not have the right to own them. People have owned guns since time in memorial and some of them have only used them only within the precincts in which they were legalized to use them.

“It is perhaps too easy to forget how many times this has happened. The horrific mass murder at a movie theater in Colorado on July 20, another at a Sikh temple in Wisconsin on August 5, another at a manufacturer in Minneapolis on September 27—and then the unthinkable nightmare at a Connecticut elementary school on December 14—are the latest in an epidemic of such gun violence over the last three decades.

Since 1982, there have been at least 62 mass shootings* across the country, with the killings unfolding in 30 states from Massachusetts to Hawaii. Twenty-five of these mass shootings have occurred since 2006, and seven of them took place in 2012. Do Armed Civilians Stop Mass Shooters? Actually No. Maybe We Need a Better Mental Health Policy Weapons: Of the 142 guns possessed by the killers, more than three quarters were obtained legally.” Mark Follman, Gavin Aronsen, and Deanna Pan.

The only thing that everyone wants to feel is an assurance that if they woke up tomorrow and go out in the public, they would return home safely and their loved ones would be sharing a meal with them just like any other day. So if this goal can be accomplished by placing restraints on the purchase of the guns ammunition and accessories and allow the possibilities that, everyone can sleep feeling assured, that everything will be fine when they wake up to see the sun the next morning, it is something that should be strongly considered.

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Gratitude

E. VirGinia Johnson “Genii”

angels-dark-thick-forest-31000I believe that one of the great Spiritual Practices IS Gratitude. Prayer and meditation help us to make our Divine connection active and conscious, forgiveness frees us from past hurts and wrongs, and gratitude provides an open place of receptivity for gifts and inspiration. Each practice allows us closeness to God, and each provides a form of communication. For its part, there is great joy in gratitude. In fact, gratitude holds so much meaning for the Spiritual student that it is included as a step in Spiritual Mind Treatment.

We may agree that being thankful is courteous; it shows civility, and lets others know that we care about the things they may do for us, but what is the big deal Spiritually? Surely it is not that we still believe in Big Guy in the Sky who will be upset with us if we do not give proper thanks? If God is the Universal giver and we are the receivers, it must not be this. Instead, I believe that the open place in us that gratitude automatically creates enables us to freely receive all that God gives. As we understand the Divine Flow, we don’t have to worry about stories of worthiness or unworthiness. We simply need to be able to say yes in small things and in large to receive continuous good. We restrict the flow only by our unwillingness or inability to receive.

Science of Mind

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