THE RIGHT ONE

First we must allow our Heavenly Father to do the

picking. And second, the decision for a mate must be

made on a spiritual and intellectual basis before it’s

made on an emotional one.

“What about love? Shouldn’t that be the third? you

ask. No, and I’ll tell you why. “The heart is

deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can

understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).

The heart is willful and is driven by its own agenda.

It does not consider things rationally and

intelligently it just loves to please the flesh!

Therefore it has to be pointed by God in the right direction:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of

life” (Proverbs 4:23).

Whenever you meet a man, you need to get clearance

from God, check out his attributes, and then allow

your heart to engage.

Dating exists not for mating; it exists for collecting

data. I believe that the biblical design would be

friendship, courtship and then marriage.

Friendship is two people walking together in agreement

and accountability, learning and growing together.

Courtship follows the mutual agreement to commit to

one another exclusively – it is the decisive turning

toward the agreed-upon goal of the marriage altar. It

is a period of laying a foundation and preparing your

life together after marriage.

But dating? Well, if you do date, use the time wisely

to gather these facts.

1. Check out the fabric. Is the person mate material?

Does this man have an intimate relationship with the

Father through Jesus Christ? Does he care what God

thinks about his behavior? Is he accountable to God as

well as another co-laborer in the faith?

Accountability is an important factor. It is

imperative to maintaining a committed relationship. Is

your potential spouse a member of the same family –

the family of God?

You need to have common interests and values and agree

on the essentials of living day to day. You have a

similar spiritual walk. You eat the same spiritual

diet. You enjoy a lot of similar things. You have like

interests, like goals in life, like opinions on basic

life issues.

You have had like experiences in your background.

Though there is some truth to the idiom that opposites

attract, like-minded folks fare better together.

Furthermore, does he want to get married? If you want

to be married and your dreamboat isn’t interested,

don’t waste your time.

Remember, women fall in love and get married. Men

decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note

the difference in order. So if a guy says he’s not

looking for anything serious, take his words

seriously. If he’s not going in your direction, get

off the bus and wait for the right one.

2. Does this man want you? Is he pursuing you? The man

who is right for you will pursue you, and God’s hand

in the relationship will be clear. No guessing, no

fleeces, no dead ends.

Scripture says: “He who finds a wife finds what is

good and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs

18:22).

Note -who finds whom? THE MAN FINDS THE WIFE. From the

beginning of time, God has transported men and women

across the world in order to put them together.

At the RIGHT TIME, He will bring that man on the scene

and he will find you. In God’s perfect design, the man

is the one who recognizes his mate. Adam had no

problem recognizing that Eve was his missing rib. You

do not need to strategically place yourself anywhere.

You don’t have to help a guy out because he’s shy!

Men will do whatever they have to do to get what they

truly want. The man in your life should recognize you

as the pearl of great price in his life and be willing

to do whatever he must in order to gain your hand. If

he is passive about gaining your affections, take it

as a sign that he is not interested.

Many a woman’s mother has suggested that it is a good

idea to marry a man who loves you more than you love

him. As cold as that sounds, it actually might be

scriptural if you stop to think about it: “We love him

because he first loved us” (1 John 4:19). Until then,

take the ultimate chill pill. You don’t need a bunch

of men in your life to make you feel all right about

yourself.

You need only one man – your man, the one God has

selected to select you. And trust me, the right man at

the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man

at any time. So trust God’s timing in this. He is the

ultimate matchmaker. Relax, sit pretty and allow

yourself to be found. Again – WAIT until the man

voices his intentions. He should take the lead in

establishing the relationship. You may have an inkling

that he is the one, but God will use the man to set

the tone of the relationship. Allow him the

opportunity to woo you – this is your first act of

submission. Jesus set the standard for all men to

follow. They should love us first. And they should

lead the relationship. And, God will confirm it to you.

3. The man in your life should not desire to move into

your house, only into your heart. A man who prepares

for your future has made his intentions clear. A man

who is husband material has the means to take care of

a wife. He is a responsible human being who

understands he needs to have something to offer. In

short, a man should have the means to be a suitable

lover for you.

4. Check out his buddies. Everyone knows birds of the

same feather flock together, yet most women fail to

see the connection between a man and his friends. A

man’s pals tell you a lot about the person that you

haven’t seen yet. They reveal things about the guy’s

character that might be hidden when he is on good

behavior. Everyone knows how to put his best foot

forward. Don’t stay focused on the foot, check out the

rest of the body!

5. Check out his relationship with his mother. How

does he treat her? This is your preview of how he will

treat you. There are lots of men who, because of a

negative relationship with their mothers, really don’t

like women, yet say they do. Unresolved issues between

mother and son continue between husband and wife.

6. Remember that a man’s family reveals the cloth from

which he’s cut. Take note and decide whether you want

your future with the man in your life to look like

his present family situation.

7. Check out the patterns of his life. Do you see

repeated cycles of drama in his personal kingdom?

Broken relationships? Problems in making commitments

–including the job market? Mood swings? Is a problem

always someone else’s fault? Does he embrace

responsibility or shirk it? Does he keep his promises?

Is he a man of good reputation? Remember all garments

look wonderful hanging in the store, but with wear,

some begin to unravel. Give yourself time and space to

check out the man in your life. Time will always

reveal whether or not he is made of the right stuff.

8. Does this man have a vision for his life? Is he

running with that vision? Remember, God decided Adam

needed help once Adam got busy DOING his assignment.

As we saw Adam, a man doesn’t need help until he is

busy doing what he was created and called to do. Is

the man in your life guided by sense of destiny and

purpose, or does he just allow life to happen around

him? A man who is not certain of his mission can be a

most miserable person – and you’ll be miserable too if

you know where YOU want to go in life.

A man who has vision is not intimidated by a woman

whose mission statement is clear. He will be your best

ally, cheerleader and assistant because he wants you

both to make it! A man who cannot be supportive of

your achievements because he is floundering in a sea

of uncertainty over his own life is not a healthy

partner to have and to hold forever.

Creating dependencies or feelings of obligation is not

the way to get the best out of your man. Somewhere

along the way, he will resent you and flee from the

smothering burden of obligation he associates you

with. You want a man who is firmly anchored in his

identity in Christ. Remember, we are looking for a man

who will be priest and leader of his home. His first

instinct should be to want to cover you, redeem you,

and provide for you. Your job is to decide if this is

the man God has ordained for you to complement.

9. Complimentary. Do your talents and gifts complement

his? Do his gifts, compliment yours? What about your

temperaments? Do you see the two of you as an

effective team capable of bringing blessing to the

lives of those around you? Do your futures mesh? Can

you coordinate your gifts in an attractive and

effective way?

This is why knowing your purpose is so important. Make

sure your hearts beat for mutual causes. When I go

shopping I always consider the fabric, the fit and

what I already have in my closet. Will my next

purchase be a complimentary addition to what I already

have? If I find that I am going to have to buy shoes

and matching accessories to go with a new outfit, I

leave it right on the rack. It is too expensive a

proposition. If the man you meet makes you feel that

you need to completely reinvent yourself, something is

wrong.

This is where I ask you to consider the relationship

in terms of cost. Is this relationship expensive

spiritually, emotional or physically? Does your

longing for a mate make you willing to forfeit who you

are in the process? Or does he see you as the gift

that you are? The man in your life should consider you

a rare find, a priceless jewel-because of you he is

getting ready to get blessed big-time! Any

relationship that causes you to feel unworthy,

unlovely, unacceptable, undesirable or that you have

to work for love, is too expensive!

God has called the man to cover, protect and provide

not only materially for a woman, but emotionally and

spiritually as well. You should be richer in mind,

body and spirit for your union with the man of your

dreams. The man in your life should make rich deposits

into your heart and spirit, not withdrawals.

10. Does he have a healthy love and acceptance of

himself? Make sure the man in your life has taken time

to heal from past relationships and has made peace

with himself. How he cares for himself is how he will

care for you.A man’s relationship with God is crucial

here. His love for himself will only be as strong as

his love for God. This is not something that you can

impart. You cannot be his savior or teacher. That is

out of spiritual order. In his rightful place as your

personal priest, he should be leading you to a richer

relationship with Christ.

If he is causing you to compromise your faith and

destabilize your walk, if he is leading you into

sexual sin or causing you to be distracted from your

commitment to Christ, the relationship is too

expensive. Offending the Lover of your soul, who

promises you eternal love, is too high a fare to pay

for a ride that has a limited run. If you and your man

can’t soar in the Spirit, when the force of your love

for another is tested by the pull or gravity of the

world, your union will not be able to survive.

So you decide. How much is your life worth? How much

is your love worth? You will be able to accept only

what you believe you deserve. God himself calculated

the worth of your love and decided it was worth His

life. He now pledges you His love for eternity. Yes,

Jesus sets the example for all others to follow when

He paid a ransom for His bride. Should you expect less

from a mortal man? Throughout the Biblical age, men

were willing to pay the cost for what they truly

desired. The truth of the matter is, everyone knows

that anything worth having, costs and no one gets a

ride in this life for free.

Our prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father,

I confess that I have not always been as careful as I

should’ve been with my heart. From time to time, my

desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the

wrong hands. I now commit my heart into Your hands for

safekeeping. Please help me to stop being so impulsive

with what you deem so precious. As I learn to

celebrate Your love for me, let me learn from Your

example what a bridegroom should really be like. Help

me to never settle for less than what you desire for

me. As I embrace You as the Lover of my soul, keep my

affections in the haven of Your own heart. As I rest

in Your love, make me more discriminating of those who

approach me.

I ask that You take over this area of my life. Keep me

from those You know would hurt my heart. I invite You

to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who

would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the

day you present me to the mate that You have selected

for me. Grant me the discernment to recognize him as

he recognizes me. Cleanse me from the temptation to

typecast the men I meet according to what I see. Help

me to trust in Your knowledge and lean not on my own

understanding. I know that You know what is best for

me; therefore I yield to Your choice.

In Jesus Name.

Amen.

Ladies this is something you should definitely share

with a friend, whether you are single or married… It

is something to think about, When you ask is “He” the

one!

author: unknown

I was driving to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out his window and gave the woman the finger.

‘Man, that guy is stupid,’ I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely
and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here’s why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work.

That’s 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to bumper.

Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these.

That’s 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That’s 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That’s 449..

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That’s 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

That’s 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry
weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger?

I don’t think so.

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly without an appointment into the Harvard University President’s outer office. The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard & probably didn’t even deserve to be in Cambridge.

“We’d like to see the president,” the man said softly.

“He will be busy all day,” the secretar y snapped.

“We will wait,” the lady replied.

For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go away. They didn’t, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted. “Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they’ll leave,” she said to him. He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn’t have the time to spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office.

The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the couple. The lady told him! , “We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus.” The president wasn ‘t touched. He was shocked.

“Madam,” he said, gruffly, “we can’t put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died.. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.”

“Oh, no,” the lady explained quickly. “We don’t want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.”

The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, “A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard.”

For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, “Is that all it cost to start a university? Why don’t we just start our own?” Her husband nodded. The president’s face wilted in confusion and bewilderment.

Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about.

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them.

A TRUE STORY By Malcolm Forbes

I hope to keep this in mind whenever I start to judge.

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war and doesn’t make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages…only those with an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran, ruled by Nuts.

WHAT HAPPENS IN HEAVEN

This is one of the nicest e-mails I have seen, and it really puts things into perspective..

I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, ‘This is the Receiving Section.

Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received..’

I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.

Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section..

The angel then said to me, ‘This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them.. ‘I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.

Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. ‘This is the Acknowledgment Section,’ my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed ‘How is it that there is no work going on here?’ I asked.

‘So sad,’ the angel sighed. ‘After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments .’

‘How does one acknowledge God’s blessings?’ I asked.

‘Simple,’ the angel answered. Just say, ‘Thank you, Lord.’

‘What blessings should they acknowledge?’ I asked.

‘If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy .’

‘And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.’

‘If you woke up this morning with more health than illness … you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day .’

‘If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation … you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.’

‘If you can attend a church without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world. ‘

‘If your parents are still alive and still married …you are very rare .’

‘If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you’re unique to all those in doubt and despair.’

Ok, what now? How can I start? If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.

Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.

ATTN:

Acknowledge Dept.:

‘Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with.’

If you have read this far, and are thankful for all that you have been blessed with, how can you not send it on????

I thank God especially for all my family and friends!!

God’s Wings

A little something to put things in perspective…

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park,
forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno’s
damage.

One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes,
perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.
Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick.

When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead
mother’s wings.
The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her
offspring
to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings,
instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise.

She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies.
Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body,
the mother had remained steadfast…because she had been willing to die,
so those under the cover of her wings would live.

‘He will cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you will find
refuge.’
(Psalm 91:4)

Being loved this much should make a difference in your life.
Remember the One who loves you, and then be different because of it.

My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted God to bless and I
picked you.
Please pass this on to people you want to be blessed.

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend or loved one…lose one.

Isn’t it amazing that George Carlin – comedian of the

70’s and 80’s – could write something so very eloquent…and so very

appropriate.

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have

taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower

viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but

less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but

less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but

less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly,

laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get

up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our

values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We’ve added years to life not life to years. We’ve been all the way to

the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new

neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We’ve done

larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We’ve

conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn

less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We’ve learned to rush, but

not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to

produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,

big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses,

but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers,

throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills

that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when

there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A

time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you

can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete…

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because

they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you

in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your

side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,

because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it

doesn’t cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ‘ I love you ‘ to your partner and

your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will

mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for

someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to

share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the moments that take our breath away.

If you don’t send this to at least 8 people…..Who cares?

George Carlin

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the

70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very

appropriate.

                 A Message by George Carlin:

              The paradox of our time in history is that we have

taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower

viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but

less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but

less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but

less wellness.

              We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly,

laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get

up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

              We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our

values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

              We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.

We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to

the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new

neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done

larger things, but not better things.

              We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've

conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn

less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but

not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to

produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

              These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,

big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.

These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses,

but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers,

throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills

that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when

there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A

time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you

can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

              Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because

they are not going to be around forever.

              Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you

in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your

side.

              Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you,

because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it

doesn't cost a cent.

              Remember, to say, ' I love you ' to your partner and

your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will

mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

              Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for

someday that person will not be there again.

              Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to

share the precious thoughts in your mind.

              AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

              Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,

but by the moments that take our breath away.

              If you don't send this to at least 8 people.....Who cares?

                                     George Carlin

Saggin Pants

Pass this on to Our Youth, Our Parents, Our Black Men and Women

Letter from a college student

The other day, a friend of mine visited me in the lobby of my dorm just to chat while her laundry was drying.  As we were chatting, two young freshmen came by.  One of the boys wanted to ‘talk’ to my friend (as in date).  She asked him how old they were, and both of the boys replied 18.  My friend and I both laughed hysterically because we are both 22 years old.  After my friend left, the young men were still hanging around and one wanted to know how he could gain her interest.

The first thing I told him to do was to pull up his pants!  He asked why, and then said he liked saggin’ his pants.  I told him to come over to my computer and spell the word saggin’.  Then I told him to write the word saggin’ backwards.

S-A-G-G-I-N

N-I-G- G-A-S

I told him the origin of that look was from centuries ago.  It was the intent of slave owners to demoralize the field workers by forbidding them to wear a belt as they worked in the fields or at any other rigorous job.  In addition, men in prison wore their pants low when they were ‘spoken for’.  The other reason their pants looked like that was they were not allowed to have belts because prisoners were likely to try to commit suicide.  And, saggin’ pants prevents you from running.

We as young Black people have to be the ones to effect change.  We are dying.  The media has made a mockery of the Black American.  Even our brothers and sisters from Africa don’t take us seriously.  Something as simple as pulling up your pants and standing with your head held high could make the biggest difference in the world’s perception of us.  It is time to do right by ourselves.  We need to love and embrace each other.  No one is going to do that for us.

It all comes down to perception.  What people perceive is what reality to them is.  We have to change not only the media’s perception of us, but we need to change our perception of ourselves.

Remember all eyes are on you Black Man. All eyes are on you Black Woman.  All eyes are on your Black Child.  People point the finger at us and expect us to engage in negative and illegal activities, to manifest loud, boisterous behavior, to spend our hard earned money in their stores, buying goods we don’t need, or really want.  We have allowed not only the media, but the government and the world to portray us as a ‘sub-culture.’ They have stripped our culture down to the point where the image of Black people is perpetuated as rappers, athletes, drug users, and consumers of junk food, expensive tennis shoes, expensive cars, expensive TVs, cell phones and not investing in homes for our families.

We are so much more!!!!!!!

To all our Black Men:  It’s time to stand up.  There are billions of Black Women who want to do nothing more than worship the ground that you walk on.  We are so in love with your potential.  We want to have your back, we want to love, support and cherish every ounce of your being.  But with that you have to show that you are willing to be the head of our households.  You have to prove yourselves worthy of our submission.  We need you to be hard working…Not a hustler.  We need you to seek higher education, to seek spirituality.  We need you to stand!  And trust us; we will have your back.  We know that it gets hard.  We know you get weary.  Trust and believe that there is nothing that a Black Man and a Black Woman can’t handle with GOD on their side.

To all our Black Women:  It is also time for you to stand up.  It is time for you to stop using our bodies as our primary form of communication.  It is time to be that virtuous woman that Proverbs spoke of.  You cannot sit by the wayside while our men are dying by the masses.  You are the epitome of Black Love.  It starts within you.  You need to speak with conviction to let not only our Black Men know, but the world, that you are the Mothers of this world.  You are so powerful.  You are so beautiful.  You need to love and embrace every blessing God has given us physically, emotionally and spiritually.

For all our Black Children:  We need to love them.  We need to teach them.  We need to stand up for them.  We need to protect them.  We need to show them that there are no ‘get rich quick’ schemes.  We need to tell them that they WILL die trying if they submit to a life of crime and deceit.  We need to teach our children that no one will love them the way we can.  And being a basketball player, a rapper, or a drug dealer is not reality.  It’s not realistic and only a small percentage of people ever make it as a rapper or professional athlete.  We need to teach our children that we can be more than rappers and athletes.  We can be the owners of these sports teams.  We can be the CEO’s of OUR fortune 500 companies.  We need to believe in literacy.  I am almost certain if we were to look back to the 1930’s and 40’s, the literacy rates for Black American Children are probably still the same.

‘This is the year of empowerment.’ God will empower us to accomplish things this year that will be mind blowing’.

Equanimity

“In sacred geometry, the octagon portrays evenness and stability.

In the mental realm, this comes, in part, from equanimity which provides the stability of not being thrown off center.

Any strong judgment or emotional reaction can create a kind of static that interferes with clarity or perception and evenness in the mind and emotional body. Equanimity is the result of not getting caught in these judgments and reactions.

It is the evenness that comes when we neither reject nor cling to the various mental or emotional states that arises.

Fear, resentment and doubt involve contraction. If you are sensitive enough, you may notice their effect in your body. At other times, you many recognize contraction only after it has released and you find yourself in a state that is restful, free  and expansive.

Our  focus  is on acceptance of contraction as a part of life and the cultivation of equanimity to help us deal with uncomfortable states.Equanimity is not an enforced evenness created by flattening your emotions, nor is it a blurring of perceptions.

In equanimity, you are aware of your internal distress, but don’t react to it as much, because you have evenness inside.

Practicing equanimity doesn’t mean that you never get ruffled. You can be totally triggered by an event and yet handle that turmoil with equanimity by feeling your response moment to moment and letting it go. You can put space around it and not get so caught up in the content.

It is this breathing room that allows you to avoid  reacting automatically and lets you decide which action is most skillful in a situation.

There are several ways to practice equanimity.  One,  is to look for the good in disagreeable conditions in your life; it is easier to accept them.

Another method is to step back and observe. With greater detachment, you gain perspective. You step out of the story and see the larger pattern created by the hills and valleys of your life.

A third practice is to observe the oscillation of contractive and expansive states in meditation or in the simple act of breathing.

You may notice that if you can be completely present with a contraction. The contraction will soften and relax into a more expansive state.

It is a natural rhythm: expansion follows contraction and contraction follows expansion.

The person with equanimity honors both.”

Willow Arlenea  Jasmin Lee Cori
www.ettaenterprizes.com